Should-a Could-a Would-a

Have you ever run out of gas? It always happens to be when you’re running late or miles away from the closest gas station. If it’s a really bad day the cell phone has been left at home. Personally, I have only ran out of gas twice in my driving career. Each time I pounded my fist on the steering wheel and muttered aloud that I should have filled up. There was no one to blame; I never took the chance to fill up the car. Everything always was causing me to rush forgetting about the gas tank and leaving it to run on fumes.

There are other times in my life where I have “Should-a Could-a Would-a” moments. Truth of the matter is, I’m living in a “Could-a” moment right now. Today is May 5th, the day I was scheduled to have major surgery in Colorado. The surgery was canceled a week ago when I received a call from the nurse at the Steadman Clinic. She said that after reviewing my case one last time (mind you they had reviewed the case THREE times already), there were two major concerns about the procedure. First was the fact that I have an auto-immune disease that causes my body to attack my muscles. Although it’s a major health concern, they would have continued pursuing surgery if it weren’t for one thing: my weight. The conversation I had with the nurse Thursday April 28 at 7:40 in the morning forever changed my life. She said to me, “I hope you understand that we want to help your hip heal. The problem is that with the amount of weight you carry around, it never will. You need to get serious about losing weight or forever live in pain.”

It wasn’t the first time in my life that my weight was holding me back. But, that moment was a huge “Should-a Could-a Would-a” shock. To be reconsidered for the surgery in September I need to lose at least 50 pounds. I am committed to doing it, one day at a time. Eight days ago I thought I was headed into surgery, addicted to food and obese. Today I Should-a been laying in a hospital bed, I Could-a been healing from a two year old injury, and I Would-a been starting physical therapy tomorrow. But instead, I walked out of the gym for the sixth day in a row with an entire new plan for the summer and for my life.

One Less Day