Dear Santa…

This past week my family had some friends over for dinner, and of course Santa was part of our conversation. Being December and all it’s not uncommon to discuss the greatest man that never existed and just how magical the thought of him is. One of the little boys that came over just turned 9. He is in that stage in life where he wants to believe so bad in Santa, but the kids at school keep trying to tell him Santa and the Elf’s are all made up.

In my house believing in Santa is part of the Christmas spirit. “If you don’t believe, you don’t receive.” I start writing my letter to Santa on June 15^th, the day after my birthday. Poor Santa! The good news is my Christmas list gets shorter every year, it’s just the fact that the items on the list get more expensive. This year we had 14 Cusack’s shoved into one home, forcing Santa to come tonight. So here is my letter to Santa:

Dear Santa,

We are excited to have you back to the Cusack house! A lot is going to be different around here this Christmas. Let me address the most important issue first. We will not be leaving you any cookies this year but rather a plate of delicious vegetables and protein. No, the vegetables are not reindeer food. It doesn’t taste too bad but your right; it’s not the same as cookies. I have been sugar free for almost 8 months now Santa but I have not lost my sweetness. That is why I am still on your nice list! The milk I left you is soy milk. It may taste a little strange, but it’s good with Chai tea. I just don’t have any right now so straight soy will have to do.

Second thing, let’s talk about clothing. My shoe size hasn’t changed so you are safe there with the cute boots I’m wanting. But my pants are another story, I am dropping sizes like crazy! I love getting my pants at Kohls because I think they switch the clothing tags so you are in a size smaller. Maybe your elves will do that too? I wouldn’t mind size 4 or 6 pants, but now I may be asking too much.

Third and final thing Santa, remember my trainer Lana? Well she OFTEN calls me a “Hot Mess” cause I’m not organized, maybe something to keep all my mess together? I hate to say this, but most of it is floating around the back of my car. I’m pretty sure I won’t get a boy friend until I keep my car clean! (Don’t worry Santa, I realize you have limitations. I have left the idea of a BF off the list this year!) So a cute gym bag perhaps? Something that makes me look good, without trying. Good luck ;)

Thanks for coming a few days late Santa! I understand my “family matters” cut into your vacation time with the Misses, but we needed you to come the night of the 27^th! If you have any questions about my list, I’m trying to sleep upstairs. Feel free to post on my FB wall, I’m sure I’m not sleeping cause I’m on FB.

Merry Christmas Ho Hoer!

Your Favorite Girl on the Nice List

One Less Day

Snack Time

Like most of you, I am totally a creature of habit. There are some things that always have to be done before I can do something. One of these things I’m talking about is finals week. I know it’s coming, every year I know when it’s coming, and every year I have to have one thing to get me through the night. Snacks

Snacks not only allow for me to eat my stress, they always keep me plugging away. Normally after midnight the most delicious tasting snacks that are oh so bad for me would be my first choice. For example (as you see in a picture from last semester) I had a few staple snacks for finals week. Purple Rock Star, Pull-n-Peel Twizzlers, Starbursts, and Cheetos.

This semester, as I’m starting to stay up LATE I need some healthy snack options. Things that are crunchy, soft, taste good, and give me lots of brain power! Do you have any ideas? I am desperate or else I’ll be headed to the gas station to get my old habits. Any help would be nice!!

One Less Day

Own It

After today’s conversation with Lana, I still have to learn my lesson. I have yet to understand and fully grasp the concept of “Me”. One would think that I am fully aware with the amount I talk about myself, but in all honesty almost all things come before me. This month would be easy to excuse. And I’m pretty sure deep down I did. I hit 50 pounds on month six and celebrate. The celebration is not the problem it is the length of the celebration that killed me. I allowed myself to celebrate all month without getting back to the grind.

But the excuses are enough, and now it’s time for me to own my choices. I choose my choice. This month there was no weight loss, and only a 1 inch difference in my measurements. That may be OK if I wasn’t full of excuses for my choices. I need to own it. I also need to realize that my priority needs to be me. Not in a selfish way, but in a believing in myself way.

I should not expect that my life change overnight, but it’s hard to think that it’s taking longer than seven months. But if you think about it, my forgetting about “me” has been for 23 years. So reversing that in seven months would be completely unexpected. In so many ways my life is changing, but in a few major ways I still have a lot of work to do, inside and out.

I would have never guessed that as my body changed my life would change drastically. I hope that I have not disappointed you or even discouraged you with my lack of weight loss this month. I think the most important thing to understand is that this was almost expected at some point in time. Press on toward the prize. It’s a marathon not a sprint.

One Less Day

A Lot to Be Thankful For

This year, my turkey day will be a lot different. No pie, no stuffing, no bread, no pie, no butter on my mashers, no pie on my plate this year. I am normally the one that is jumping for joy thinking about the food pile I will consume. But this year I’m keeping my eyes on the prize. And although I do not get to enjoy Thanksgiving in the traditional way, I still have so much to be thankful for!

When I wake up in the morning, I have to constantly be thankful. When I start to lose sight of what I have been blessed with (good and bad) I instantly become selfish. I lose my motivation to press on toward the big prize. I become lazy because I forget that my life belongs to the people I surround myself with. That means that when I am self consumed I have forgotten that the world is not about me and my energy and strength is for others and not for myself. At the same time, I can not forget to take time for myself. Taking care of the life I have been given. Investing in myself so I can then invest in the people around me. 

I hope I say this every blog, but seriously I would not be her today with Lana. I have chosen to change my life, but she has been the one pushing and pulling me along. If she was not in the picture, I would not be where I am today. My Doc told me that the best way to invest in myself is to hire a personal trainer. PLEASE consider it a gift to yourself to be trained in a gym atmosphere, even if it’s in a group class like Boot Camp.  You will be so thankful you made the choice for you.

This week what are you thankful for?

One Less Day

Weight Loss Suicide

I was SO excited after reaching my weight loss goal on Halloween. I mean really, 50 pounds in 6 months is pretty good! It was then Lana was honest saying the next 50 were going to be even harder. I didn’t believe her; in fact I thought she was just saying that to make me work harder. A few days in November death came knocking. Well I didn’t even come close, but I got hit hard with a cold. So a week away from the gym should just be Weight Loss Suicide. Not only did I not work out, but I found my face in the fridge. The type that every three minutes you open the fridge to see if anything has changed and the only thing growing is something on the beans from last week.  

 Life after 50 pounds lost almost sucks. This is way harder than it looks to keep going. I am wondering why the next 50 are going to be the hardest? Someone Help!!

One Less Day

A Happy Halloween

Monday was a good day. Lana and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary together. That sounds a little ridiculous, but truthfully I would not have gotten this far without her. 

51 pounds Gone For Life

36 inches off my body. 

Lets talk about 51 pounds: 51 boxes of butter. 10 5lb Bag of flower. Over 400 Mini Candy Bars.6 Gallons of Water. Its crazy when its put it into perspective. But now comes the hard part. I have set a goal of 25 more pounds off by New Years Day. January 1, 2012 weighing in 75 pounds less than May 1st. Not gonna lie, this will be hard. The average weight GAIN between Thanksgiving and Christmas is 8 pounds. I do not want to add 8 pounds. Wanna take the challenge with me to LOSE 8 pounds? Help me loose weight this holiday season! It may take a Christmas Miracle but so worth it. 

When I was at the doctors office earlier this month he told me the best way money could be spent is on a Personal Trainer. Maybe on that list you are making for Santa you ask for a session or two from one of the best trainers out there. Lana would love to make your Christmas wishes come true! 

One Less Day 

Seriously?

I like people a lot. I spend lots of time investing in the lives of other. I am so blessed to be in the relationships I'm in, and if I'm honest would be no where without key people. But the world is not made of rainbows and gum drops. (I once thought it was made of Blue Bell ice cream and Chick-Fil-A, that is how I got this way)

Let me tell you about the people group that absolutely grinds my gears. Drum roll please... quitters. Now I know the feeling because I'm a Denver Broncos fan and quite often wanna quit. But that's not what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the person that starts something life changing, then up and quits causing them to return back to their old habits.  Seriously? You are that easy? I understand that times are tough, things get hard, but quitting? You are better than that! Get off the couch and get back to it. Today is a NEW DAY. Try again today.

One Less Day

From My Bedroom Floor

I'm sitting on the floor of my room at 8:13 in the morning. I feel hung over with emotion watching the end of game six last night. I'm not that into baseball but if I had a team it would be the Texas Rangers. When I lived in Houston I would attend the Astros games, but let's face it. They play like a minor league most games. So Rangers it is. Any way, twice the pitcher was two strikes away from finishing the game. That's two pitches. His job is baseball and his entire childhood dream would have come true.

Do you realize we have dreams to achieve in life? If you can't dream about tomorrow, today should have no purpose. Who do you dream about being? I can guess that most of you are not the person you really want to be. Think of the Rangers, tonight that are back in St. Lewis but they are still striving hard after a dream.

Don't sit around and allow yourself any more excuses to not getting active. I have dreams and quite frankly, being over weight holds me back. I would never be able to sky dive, drop cliffs on skis, or ride mountain bikes 130 pounds over weight.

Who do you want to be? What's holding you back? It's never to late to start living your dream. Today is a new day. Perfect for a conversation on the floor of my bedroom.

One Less Day

No Excuses

There should be no excuses for neglecting you, blog followers! Please accept my apology as I share with you what the last 14 days have looked like. School is consuming my time and energy but the good news is, I am still on the weight loss wagon. I need to admit something, I never thought I could. I was unsure I would make it 6 months. Well it's almost 6 months! I'm pretty proud of myself. I am still on an all protein/veggie meal plan. Oh and no sugar who would have thought?! The hardest part is still the waking up! I'm sure I am not the only one struggling to get my bad self out of bed and into the gym. As the snow starts to fall, my warm bed is far better sounding than starting a frozen car. I am starting a new bootcamp tomorrow (Wed) with Lana. If you need motivation this next Six weeks is key! Have I told you that I'm five pounds away from 50? That's 45 lost!! One less day

At The End Of The Day....

I'm going to try a new thing with my blog. I need to get away from the structured paper format and get back to being me with my writing. So I hope every day I will jot down a little something and call the segment "At The End Of The Day". Just something quick, raw, and totally me. I hope you enjoy! Two years ago I started playing hockey again. I love playing hockey. This year I have been fighting the diagnosis of no hockey. I really need my hip fixed in order to do anything on ice again. Tonight I watched my friend Alli play and my inner self wept with desire to be on ice this season. But that reality is starting to turn into more of a dream. Lana likes to joke about cutting the cord. Ok, fine she caught me. At 23 years old I still want to open Christmas presents early and can't sleep Christmas eve, so maybe she has a point. But tonight, for the first time, I agreed with the cord cutting. Sometimes in life to get the thing most important for a future, you must start sacrificing today. Letting go of my 2011-2012 hockey dream will be difficult but I'm holding onto hope for the '12-'13 ice time half the size with twice the skills! Night Y'all One Less Day

What Is Success?

Another Milestone. 42 Pounds

I love to people watch, and when I listed that as my favorite activity on my college success guide, Sociology was an obvious choice.  I am a senior at Montana State and planning to graduate in May of 2012 as a Social Scientist. (The only reason why you cannot hear my family clapping is because all of their fingers are crossed) For my big project I am trying to evaluate success within a community. If you are a social scientist you may understand but it is very difficult to define both success and community. In order to understand success you must compare it to other situations a lot like it. 

The good student I am realizes I have so much to learn and lots more questions to ask. I would like your help determining if my weigh in this month was successful. I do know that in order to see success from a Social Science perspective one must be able to measure it. Here are the measurements we have for September:

Pounds Lost in Sept: 13

Total Lost: 43

Inches Lost: 7.5

Total Inches Lost: 32

Social Scientist or not, is that success?

One Less Day 

Meet Mrs. Meat

One of my closest friends calls herself a “vegetarian” and it’s sometimes hard to call her a friend. She is from Vermont, so does that excuse her? It might! EP is not the only person in my life afraid of the “was alive, now dead” food option. My sister lives in Idaho and her boyfriend has cows. She would tell you that she has about 100 best friends because she names and becomes friends with each calf that is born. Thus she also will not eat red meat. It’s a problem when her boyfriend brings home Helen for dinner because, well, she just “didn’t make it”. I am a true Montanan, I love meat. Needless to say, if my dinner made noise on a farm, I’ll eat seconds.  

Recently Lana has asked me to stick to a pure protein and veggie diet. At first I thought it would be ridiculously difficult, but honestly it has been awesome! The idea is to kick habits that were starting to creep back into my day. I am still sugar free, which I am very proud of, but the eating junk was starting to come back. On Friday I will be weighing in (at 6:30 in the morning if you want to come) to see the difference protein is making in my life! I am so excited to share with you how it is going. I hope that I’m on track to lose 50 pounds in 180 days. That makes my 6 month weigh in on Halloween. So I think for Halloween I’ll be skinny? That would be nice! 

One Less Day

Pictures Worth 1,000 Words

I'm No Superman

Fishing With Friends

The sounds of flowing waters hold the power to melt my troubles away. I have always said that a bad day on the river is better than any good day at school. But, as I learned the other night, a bad day on the river can make a bad day even worse. I have found that the best way to give myself a break after a rough day is to go fishing. After a few events unfolded, I took off for the Gallatin to fish till sun down. One of my best friends came along, it was a perfect Montana fall evening, and we were headed to my slot machine. Land owners in Montana do a nice job to keep each angler guessing about how exactly to get to the hidden water. There was once a bridge over the irrigation ditch, but that has recently been removed. Ben and I then had to jump down into the culvert, that is about six or so feet high to get to the other side. He handed me both rods and reels and I placed them on the opposite side so we could each have two hands to get out. Ben literately had to hoist me out of the ditch to get to the other side. In the process, I accidently broke BOTH rods. Not only did this make fishing impossible for the evening, but it made my bad day worse.

Reality checks are free, but they will cost you! Last week was my 4 month weigh in at the gym, and it was a reality check for sure. After working really hard for three months and doing very well I was feeling invincible. I met my kryptonite after running my last 5k. I was no longer allowed to run, and it felt like I lost all of the wind in my sails. I started eating out more and my workouts became less intense. But I still have not had any sugar! I am human, and for the first time on my journey I was convinced that I was done. The good thing is Lana keeps pushing me. She is not letting up! I have a goal to reach. My journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

I did continue to lose weight this month, but not very much. Also my measurements were up a little. The good news is that I am motivated again! Here is to a fresh start in the fall. Kissing summer goodbye and I hope to never see August again. At least the attitude that came with August.  Even when you feel like giving up, don’t do it! It may be easy but so not worth it. I need your help and encouragement, this is not easy!

One Less Day

Dear Blank...

Dear Four Months,

Here’s to you- celebrating the best thing that could have ever happen to me this summer. I cannot believe how quickly time flew by yet how long each workout was. It was because of you that I could allow for the two a day work outs. Summer has never been so rewarding to me.

Hats off to you!

Dear Jacobs Ladder,

Really? Spending two minutes with you is hard enough, and you suggest five. Yeah we are in a hate/hate relationship, just in case you have yet to figure that one out. I could do without you, and so could every other innocent individual at the gym.

It might be best if I never see you again. Just saying.

Dear Boot Camp,

My entire body hurts. But yes, I can’t wait till Wednesday. Sprinting is my favorite activity followed closely by lunges and downhill sit ups. I must say that if it weren’t for you I would still think I couldn’t do it. You are worth all the blood, sweet, and tears I spent on you.

P.S. Where’s my CAMO t-shirt?

Dear Lana,

Have you realized that you are in the business of major life transformations? If not, please look at my life as a prime example. You have been far more than my drill sergeant, you have become my friend. You are someone who cares about every corner of my life and how I am making the changes. Thank you for breathing life changing breath into me every day!

Although it takes a lot to say something nice to you, I really do mean it.

Dear Sugar,

Do you miss me? I wish I could say that I don’t miss you. My time away from you was meant to be only temporary, but I may need to make the permanent change. I am afraid to say that we had a very unhealthy relationship. I often enjoyed you far more times than you enjoying me. Let’s make a deal. If I come back to visit some time, will you do me a favor and not be as lovely as you were before?

I know. That would be impossible.

Dear Man Church,

News Flash. There is work to be done in the real world. It does not do itself. Please change out of your bodybuilder.com t-shirts and return to Mother Earth. Also, that mixture of electric blue drink you are drinking from the Ranch dressing bottle, sick. That is so not normal.

In a room full of mirrors I can see you when you check yourself out.

Dear Friends Of The Blog,

Thank you for supporting me! It has been a rough few weeks as I am starting to get readjusted to school work and maintaining a healthy life style. I have not fallen off the wagon so have no fear! You are the reason I keep going. What a joy it is to work alongside you as we travel this road together.

BFF!

Dear Mountain Bike,

I love you. A passion for a high energy fast moving summer sport is just what I needed. You make me work hard up hills, but because of you I can just let go and fly down.

Sometimes I fall with style, too.

Dear 30+ Pounds,

See you never again? Sounds good!

I’m not sure I’m going to miss you anyway.

20 Lbs Challenge!

This summer has been life changing! I am totally aware that I say that a lot, but I want you to understand that I really mean that. Lana and my friends at the Ridge have helped me save my life. I have been blessed to lose 30+ pounds so far with so much more to go.

I understand that there are some of you that would also like the chance to change your life also. Right now the Ridge is starting the 20 Pound Challenge. It starts on the 13^th of September and you train with Josh. He’s pretty good at what he does so expect your butt to get kicked. The program is 8 weeks long, meeting with Josh twice a week with the goal being to lose 20 pounds. If you achieve that goal you will receive 3 months of free membership at the gym! This is an opportunity for members and non members. (More info at www.ridgeathletics.com)

The best part about this is YOU have the opportunity to WIN a FREE 20 Pound Challenge! All you need to do is post a comment here on my blog saying why you deserve to win and some contact information. The winner will be drawn on September 1^st! If you don’t win I hope you seriously consider taking the 20 pound challenge any way. I can promise you will NOT regret taking the first step to changing your life. 

Catch 22

Have you ever felt like you ruled the world? Well, on Saturday after finishing my first ever 5K, I felt like I was ruling the world. I used to say that only two things would make me run: the cops and an all you can eat buffet. Well, now I have conquered that first step and completed the longest 3.1 miles of my life so far. But, the joy of finishing in almost 42 minutes flat was followed by an ample amount of pain.

In April 2010, I injured my hip skiing or playing hockey. It wasn’t until that October that I started looking into the constant pain in my leg and found out that I had torn the labrum in my hip. There was no question about what had to be done, and surgery was scheduled for September 2011 in Vail, CO. Because it was so far away, I asked to be on the waiting list if something opened up earlier. The Tuesday before finals in May, I received the unexpected call asking me to come for surgery. I was ecstatic, nervous, and running around like a chicken with my head cut off rearranging my life to fit. I would be taking two exams and finishing my five classes by Friday. Everything was going well, and I thought it was the perfect plan until that Thursday morning at 7:45AM. The nurse called to chat about their biggest concern with me having surgery the next week. It had little to do with my actual hip and all to do with my weight. In order for the doctor to operate, I needed to lose at least 50 pounds. That was the first time I can really remember where my weight has held me back. So, Tuesday I was sky high ready for a new hip, and by Thursday, I was feeling hopeless.

Surgery is inevitable with my injury, and truth be told, the pain has been unbearable these past few months. After recently seeking the wisdom of a Billings doctor, I have now been limited to what type of exercise I will be able to do: little to no impact, bending, squatting, or twisting. They have limited me because of the possibility of hurting myself to the point of hip replacement.Although it is nice to have some answers to the reason for the pain I feel constantly, it is also very frustrating to have to completely change my work out routine. I just am trying to remind myself that there is more to weight loss than running and lunges. It is also frustrating having to deal with the pain every day. It’s a total Catch 22. In order to have a pain free hip, I must lose a substantial amount of weight, yet some days my hip holds me back from losing the weight.

One Less Day

The Year of the Mud

5:30AM came way too quickly because I was so nervous and totally unsure about the upcoming day! But, when I rolled out of bed with the sun rising above the Bridgers, I could not help but have a fire in my belly for my first 5K race. The car was full of three of my closest friends, hillbilly outfits, old running shoes, body wash and three dresses for a wedding. Only two of us were running in the race, but all four of us were attending the wedding. From one extreme to the next...Saturday was a dirty day! Two hours from Bozeman to Billings is a lot longer with a pit in my stomach. But, nothing cures my nerves like singing at the top of my lungs to Train, Garth Brooks and a little bit of GaGa. Arriving in Billings with plenty of time, G and I dressed for the occasion. Our team name was Team Swamp Ass, and no better way to embrace it than to dress like a bunch of red necks. Cut-off jeans and sleeveless flannels with homemade suspenders made for a good looking bunch! Let me tell you, if we didn’t have suspenders we would have been absolutely SOL. Our pants would have never stayed up, and it would have been a full moon of fun for everyone. Well, some people on our team had that problem even with suspenders!

Thankfully, the jitters went away once I noticed how relaxed and low key the race was going to be. Almost every team was in costume, and one team even wore adult diapers! Team Soggy Bottom was totally appropriate for the diaper team. (Way to go Team Ridge!). It has been so fun to be working out with the same people all summer, and then to run my first race with a few of them was a blast! I could not have been more pleased with my team members. Getting over the straw bales would have been impossible if it weren’t their help in hoisting me over each of them. Thank you ladies (and G) for helping me get over and through each obstacle. It was so fun to run together, and thank you for sticking with me making my first 5K totally enjoyable and memorable. It’s going to be hard for me to run any other race because it won’t be nearly as fun!

My first real 5K is Saturday, and what can I say, I’m still a little nervous but more excited. Lots of people are running with me again, and I think that’s going to make the difference! Look for me crossing the finish line! I SHOULD come in under 45 minutes, but even if I don’t that’s okay too, right?

One Less Day

Dear Me

Sometimes when I’m giving advice to people I encourage them to write a
letter. The letter is written to someone with the intention of them
ever reading it. This type of letter helps get hard to say things out
on the table. It may sound strange to write a letter then rip it up,
but the idea of getting things off your chest is almost empowering.

Although most of these letters are secret, I am choosing to share one
with you I wrote to myself. It’s raw, real, and has multiple grammar
mistakes but is a pure window into my soul. The worst thing I could do
is close the world off to the victories and letdowns that comes with
changing everything about me.

Dear Serene,

 Remember the day you bought the biggest pair of pants at Sacks to be
funny and when you took them home they fit? Remember the time you laid
in bed frustrated with selfish people who couldn’t control destructive
habits then got slapped in the face because you are one of them? I
would go on and on about the multiple times you realized life needed
to change drastically but most are too painful to discuss. What is
important about each of these memories is that you never forget them.
Although some were hilarious, never forget the shocking truth each of
these memories surface about your struggle with obesity.

This morning when you were looking in the mirror, I saw you checking
yourself out! It was pretty hilarious watching you try to sneak the
always dreaded MySpace mirror shot, but you were on to something! You
are starting to look different, slimmer for sure and no more neck
garble for Celeste to grab. Victory!  You are a woman, not a chicken,
so I’m sure it feels good to be missing your wattle. The rest of the
world is ready for you to get new clothes because the half on/half off
look doesn’t do much for you. We can work on that and maybe stay away
from the fishing pants? Just an idea.

Sadly enough Serene, this battle you are fighting is far from over. I
realize you are tired, and you may think it’s worth giving up now but
it’s not! Your body does not hate you although most days it may feel
like it! Remember you were created differently. When life is dished out, we are never given more than we can handle. Your hip and your faulty DNA are not road blocks. They are part of you! The best part about you is you. Just because the way you look is changing don't let that mess with who you are on the inside. Well except the bad attitude, we can all do without that.

Are you proud of yourself? You should be! Today you lost almost 30 pounds in 30 day, and 30.5 inches. No one did that for you, you did it all. Yes, people came along side of you and sometimes even shoved and pulled you along, but you did it! This is the first time in your entire life where you are putting yourself first. I know it has taken you a while to embrace that but realize the importance of that. People matter a lot, but if you are not all you can be you are robbing everyone of your full potential. You are not your own. 

Love yourself enough to press on. The journey is far from over, but every day is a new day. And one less day till you reach your goal right? When the journey get lonely know the race has been won. Keep the attitude of gratitude. Keep your chin high, your shoes tied, and for the love of mankind take a shower!

One Less Day

Cool Runnings

There are not many movies that stick out to me from my childhood. I wasn’t into the typical fairy tale stories or madly in love with a certain princess. This may or may not surprise you, but I liked movies about sports. Mighty Ducks, Angels in the Outfield, and my very favorite was Cool Runnings!

I am no film critique, but I would argue that Cool Runnings is one of the most inspirational movies ever made. Four very different men join together to form the Jamaican bobsled team. To raise money for such a challenge, they did all types of fundraising. One teammate even sang a song, “Nuff people say, I know you can’t believe, Jamaica we have a bobsled team”. These men not only were challenged because of the lack of snow but were challenged because they only had three months to make it to the Olympics.

Although I’m not racing for a gold medal, I have been having some pretty major doubts about my upcoming races. I run my first 5K on July 30th in Billings, and it will be through mud pits and fire hoses. The next weekend I run my first official race here in Bozeman. I have been doing my best to train by running, but I just don’t seem to feel like I am enough. It is still easy for me to demotivate myself, and I’m starting to feel the pain of trying to run every day. The Jamaican bobsled team needed a country of support and to believe in themselves. I have the country of support; I just need to break the barrier and start to believe in myself.

When the coach of the Jamacian bobsled team was talking to the most important team member about what it means to win an Olympic gold medal he said, “Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it”. Derice responds, “Hey coach, how will I know if I'm enough?”. That is when the coach says, “When you cross that finish line, you'll know”. I cannot wait to cross that finish line in less than a week and know that all I have been working towards was enough. That I am enough to motivate myself to be the best me I can be.

Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, its 5k time!

One Less Day

Workouts with Serene

Serene lets us into her "workout world", which involves everything from spinning, to water, to ropes. Keep it up lady! -Christine

Photos along the way

Wun More Time

For the longest time there were only two things that could get me to run; the cops and any “all you can eat” buffets. And, when I did run, it was more of a waddle than anything. So, running doesn’t really have a place on my most favorite things list. At the beginning of summer, I committed to participating in the Bozeman Classic 5K RUN. As a result, I recently have tried to start running but find myself out on a “wun”. In the dictionary of Serenisms, a “wun” would be described as an activity where I manage to shuffle my feet to look like a slow motion run, followed by walking at equal or greater speed. Training for a 5K sounds a little silly, especially when most people could just wake up and run 3.1 miles. I have been running 3 miles every day, and for some reason, it is not getting any easier! 

 

Well actually, I have only wun three times and will continue to wun every day until August 6th. This week I am running 2 minutes and walking 1 minute, and next week Lana wants me to start doing 5 minute runs with a 1 minute walk. If you see me lying in the middle of the road, please feel free to run me over. I can assume that some of you enjoy the sport called running, so I was wondering if maybe you have any tips for a beginner runner like me?

One Less Day

Resist The Vortex

Warning: This blog may upset a few of you!

This past week was my first week back to Boot Camp since being away for two weeks. I would have to argue that it was two of the most difficult days of my working out history. On Friday of this past week, I started to break down. I had forgotten to eat before working out (which happens far too much), and I started to feel my body shutting down. It was hot, I was tired, and my energy level was running on fumes. Not only was I feeling beat up on the inside, I started to get sucked into the vortex.

Webster defines a Vortex as “a mass of whirling fluid or air”. Let me explain this invisible vortex that exists around the concept of exercise. At the center of the vortex are the individuals that have never come to grips with the reality that the reason for their weight problem is them self. They have spent so long convincing themselves that it is everyone else’s fault, they have started to believe it. For the vortex to start to take shape, there must be other people that
don’t really want to be working out either. It is fascinating how quickly different people get pulled into the invisible life-sucking vortex.

When I become a victim of the vortex, my attitude is flat, and my motivation for a better me is non-existent. Toward the end of my workout on Friday, I realized that I had to physically move away from the whirling air filled with lots of “I can’t”, and “Fat people don’t do that” comments. What a shame it is that even when I am so desperate to lose weight, I allow people with such insecurities to drag me down with them.

Have you ever fallen victim of the vortex? Have you found yourself at the center creating a vortex? Do me a favor; please leave your attitude and pity party in the car. At this stage in my journey, the vortex pull is too strong. Take ownership, and rise up! It's time we start to make the appropriate changes and claim responsibility for our own actions.

One Less Day

Summertime Grubbin'

Summertime. This word is so precious in the vocabulary of a Montana girl. It feels like when it's finally here, I am unsure of what to do. It's like the dream that finally comes true, yet you have no idea how to deal with it. Summertime memories are some of my finest. I love riding my bike, staying up way too late, and swimming. Do you know what the other great part about summer is? Food. After a long hot day, all I think I want is ice cream. Have I have discussed with you my passion for ice cream? On my food diagram it has it's own section of the triangle. In fact, it may even have it's own triangle with mint cookies and cream being the largest section.

In the past two weeks, my ice cream triangle has been starving to death! It's a good thing but very painful. The first week I spent at Young Life camp in the middle of the Oregon desert. Not only is camp the most amazing week of my summer, but it is also full of prime ice cream eating moments. Pool side in 80 degree weather would give anyone the desire for a cool creamy dessert. Less than 48 hours after getting off the bus from camp, I jumped on a plane and was off to the foreign lands of Wisconsin. At the conference center feeding trough or dinning hall...whatever you call it, there were six different tubs of ice cream at both lunch and dinner. Again, as I sat on the dock fishing or after getting off the boat, all I wanted was a bowl of ice cream.

What you should realize with me is that although I left Bozeman for a
two week vacation, I was still running my marathon of weight loss. I recently celebrated two moths of sobriety. I have not had anything

sweet in 60 days, except a small amount on my birthday. I'm pretty
proud of myself. This summer, even when I'm out of town, I am still committed to exercising and eating right.

I am planning on running my first 5k race! The Sweat Pea Run will be
on the first Saturday in August. I would love to have you join me! I
have been trying to run more just so I can prepare for the event, and
I want you to run with me. Please consider joining me in my first race

and hopefully not my last!

Steer clear from the ice cream, and sign up to run with me!

One Less Day

Report Cards

I was not a very strong student academically, however; I did excel socially, which should not be very surprising. In high school at the end of each school semester, I would rush to the mail box and do my best to intercept my report card. I figured that if I knew how many different explanations for poor grades I needed to think up, I would be better prepared when mom and dad found it. Part of my fear came from the unknown fact of what exactly they would do to me, and the other part reflected the fact that I knew I could have done better. Report cards in high school were not always a cause for celebration!

The most recent report card I received, however, needs to be celebrated! This past Tuesday (my birthday) I asked Lana if we could check my progress. In the middle of week three, I lost my privilege to the scale because of my excessive/possessive weight checks. So, not only was I able to weigh in, but we also did some measurements to see the physical changes in my body. I am happy to let you know that I have lost a total of 16 pounds and 10 inches! In 6 weeks and 4 days, I lost 4 inches in my waist. At first, I was expecting “Biggest Loser” results and was disappointed with the “small” numbers. But, now I just smile at the fact that my hard work is starting to pay off, and any number lost is better than nothing.

Tonight, I am boarding a bus full of high school kids at 1:59 am to head to Young Life camp in Oregon. Although I am taking a vacation from Bozeman, it is crucial for me to not take a vacation from losing weight. The food at camp is to die for but not worth gaining the weight that comes with eating it. This week, I will not fall off the band wagon. On top of zip-lining, blobbing, high ropes course, catching some mad rays by the pool, and enjoying time with my high school friends, I will be working out. Every morning before 713 campers wake up, I will be continuing my work outs.

See you later soggy Montana... Hello 70+ degree oasis in the middle of nowhere!

One Less Day

HBTM

Tomorrow I turn 23. My birthday happens every year, but for some reason, this one snuck up on me! It seems like just yesterday I was taking off my ski boots after a long day on the mountain and now it’s the middle of June. Occasionally people ask me, “Serene, how do you do it”? I thought for my birthday blog post, I would share with you 23 tips, tricks, and different ways I find motivation to keep going. As I let you into my bank of secrets, please remember I am far from perfect and miles away from ordinary.
 

23) I love to chew gum. It kills the craving for sweet treats and keeps my mouth occupied, so I don’t want to eat so much.
 

22) I do my best to pack snacks. Carrots, protein bars, or even mixed nuts. That way, McDonald's doesn’t sound as good.
 

21) My new favorite restaurant is Biankinis. Best salad choice in Bozeman!
 

20) Fastest way to burn a lot of calories? Cycle Pump - Tuesday mornings at 9 am.
 

19) Keep your feet in when doing squats. Makes the hips not hurt so badly.
 

18) If you live with people, make sure that they have your back with wanting to change your life style. They can make it or break it.
 

17) Switch it up. Don’t get stuck doing the same thing all the time. When you are repetitive in your work outs, your body gets used to it.
 

16) Stop looking in the mirror. Your eyes don’t see the results as fast as you want; therefore, it’s easy to quit because you don’t look any different.
 

15) Eat. Please don’t forget to eat! When I work out on an empty stomach, I’m worthless. I'm like a fish out of water when I try to work out without eating. Then, when I do, my body thinks it's been starving and holds onto everything I consume.

 

14) My new best friend is my heart rate monitor. I know where I’m at when working out, and half the time it tells me I’m not working hard enough! eek
 

13) I hate running, but I love to ride my bike! Find something that you enjoy. Make your exercise intentional. So, when you do it, break a sweat and work out. It is not all about running.
 

12) Sometimes, when the day is extremely hard, you just need to go to bed early. When it seems impossible, and all you want to do is eat, go to bed.
 

11) Admit it. You are an addict. When your life revolves around food, it is VITAL to understand that you are now living to consume food, not consuming food to have fuel to live.

 

10) Don’t cheat. You are only cheating yourself.
 

9) Take measurements of all different parts of your body. That way, when the scale disappoints you (and it will), you have a reference point to see the change that is really happening despite what the scale might say.
 

8) Learn to spend time alone. Eating/drinking has become such a social thing that when you finally make the commitment to not eat out, you are going to have to say no to a lot of social situations. A way to cope with that is watching Modern Family.
 
7) CELEBRATE! Create a rewards program for yourself. That way, when you have gone six weeks without sugar, you know that something is waiting for you at the end. If you want to reward yourself with food, don’t. That counteracts with everything you are working to lose.
 

6) I love to work out with other people or in group classes. When I work out alone, it is easy for me to quit early, to not push myself the hardest, or to not do it in general.

5) Steer clear from sugar!! Once you can break the habit of eating sweets, the journey gets far better.

4) After my big plea for help concerning salad, I now eat my veggies. And, they don’t even taste as bad as I thought.

3) I go to the gym even when I don’t really want to go. Although I complain (a lot), I am quick to ask for forgiveness and to change my attitude.

2) When people notice that I’m working hard (and say something), I work harder. You motivate me!

1) The number one reason I am doing what I am doing is because of me. I do it for the current me and the future me.

Thank you for making a difference in my life! I owe Lana and the entire Ridge staff a giant thank you! You are all so faithful...

One Less Day

Vlog (It's Like A Blog... But WAY Different)

2%

My life in the Fall of 2007 is the perfect example of my 2% lifestyle. Due to abdomen pain caused by a McDonalds’ double cheeseburger, I was found on the floor of a conference center in Dallas, TX. I was living in Houston at the time, so we rushed back to Memorial Herman Hospital in The Woodlands to get some answers. They sent me to a specialist where I learned my Gaul Bladder was functioning at less than 10%. My parents flew me back to Montana to have the surgery in October. Ten days later I was back to school in Houston, only to wake up AGAIN with the pain. Unfortunately, my Gaul Bladder was causing only a small amount of the original pain. I was so sick, and no one had the answer to my problems. On November 12th, my dad flew down to Houston. We packed the car, and we moved me back to Bozeman in just a couple of days. Once here, the doctors did their best but decided to send me to a specialist in Seattle, WA, where I was scheduled for a Sphincter of Oddi procedure at Virginia Mason Hospital. To keep a really long story short, the 20-minute procedure turned into two hours, and in the process, my bile ducts were punctured. This happened because mine are looped and not straight. How many people have looped bile ducts? Two percent. I was then under critical watch but eventually made it back to Bozeman just fine.

I can guarantee you that if there is a two percent chance of something going wrong, it goes wrong with me. Whatever strange medical case is happening for the year, I will catch it, somehow change it enough to send it back around and get it again. I’m not sick all the time, but when I get sick,  all different types of medical professionals have to be involved in some way or another.  

I have been dreading this blog post since before the start of my journey. When most people hit their first major roadblock, everything falls apart. Not this time, and not for me! A week ago, I fell victim to the dreaded spring-time illness. The “fever-cough-sore throat-weakness” train hit me last Wednesday night, and I have been down for the count since then. The good news is that I stuck to my no sugar and no eating out! That should say something. But, I must admit that I did have a little bit of white flour. I was trying so hard not to eat anything white this week, but what can I say, chicken noodle soup is a requirement when sick. I tried to return to the gym this morning, but I was a little premature. I road the bike about a mile before I realized it wasn’t the best idea.

I’m now hitting the antibiotics hard, and forgive me as I continue to catch up on some much needed rest. I will be back to boot camp tomorrow and if not, definitely on Friday. I PROMISE a really wonderful blog post later this week. Also, are any of you interested in an outdoor Boot Camp? It starts the week of my birthday, and I would love to give you all the details. I hope you will join me!

One Less Day

One Hot Mess

In the beginning of April, I traveled with some of my family to Portland, OR to visit my brother. Luke was turning 30 years old, and it’s hard for us Cusack’s to miss a party that big! Before I could leave for Portland in the morning, I had to write two papers, study for one exam, submit a reading response, do laundry (surprise surprise), and pack. School work was most important so that was done first. About halfway through washing my clothes, I decided to set an early alarm to finish packing. At 1:30 am I fell asleep with every intention to wake up before 5 am to finish packing so we could leave by 6. Well needless to say, at 5:45 my mom woke me up ready to load the car. I was frantic. I had nothing ready to go, and some of my clothes were still soaking wet. I was not prepared at all for my trip to Portland.

When I was living in Texas, we called a frantic/unprepared person a “Hot Mess”.  I’m not really sure where that saying originates, but not packing for Portland was definitely not the first time I have been a Hot Mess. In fact I had one of these moments the other day when I was headed to the pool at the Ridge for a water workout. My hair was all over the place, only one of my legs was shaved, I left my heart monitor at home and my water bottle had leaked all over my gym bag. It was almost hilarious.  My Hot Mess days are 100% avoidable if I take the time to prepare.  If only I would have given myself longer than five minutes to shave, attended fewer meetings and went to bed earlier, my day at the pool would have been a little less messy.

Taking on my day requires me to plan ahead and has become my hidden lesson of the week.  Not only do I need to know what I am doing in the next hour, but I also need to know where my day will take me.  Because I am not eating out, I have to be fully aware of what my day holds.  Currently, I find myself waking up with just enough time to jump in my gym clothes and speed off to the Ridge. Well not speed, but you get the picture. If I remember, I grab a piece of fruit, and that is my “pre-breakfast”. I then eat a big, but late, normal breakfast and head to work at 2 pm. As a result of not preparing for my day, I start to feel hungry and have nothing to eat! I try to scrape together pocket snacks or something to keep me satisfied until I arrive home for dinner.  

My foolishness and lack of preparation leaves me hungry and unbalanced in my meal choices. My Hot Mess days are totally avoidable if I can learn to take the time to prepare. If I had a list of healthy snacks (that are NOT veggies, because I know how to eat those) or even have packed snacks for my day ahead of time, I could avoid being a Hot Mess. I am realizing that in order for my journey to be a success, I need to have less unplanned days and more structure to my eating.

One Less Day